How I Ignored All The Advice and Found Love

As a fairly new arrival, I found quickly that other users had been through the love ringer and some hadn't come out so well. Will I be in that same group after seemingly finding what I never thought I would in 3DX?

Love.. what? In 3DX - NO! YES! It's a strange, mysterious, and ongoing story, so bare with me. Let's rewind back to the beginning.


I joined 3DX in March of 2021, late to the best Covid pastime secret out there. Just looking for some alternative to Pornhub. A google search later, I found this intriguing "Game". Oh, I was in, quick. I've been looking for something like this for a while. SecondLife and the top-down games just didn't cut it, so I downloaded it immediately and ponied up for my first month. Time to dig in and squirt out. Can I get an Amen?


My first few weeks were probably pretty similar to many of the new faces in the world. You know, going to rooms, saying "Hi!", getting ignored, colding people before I even knew what that was. "Why are all these people so scared of getting sick?! I mean, I get it, Covid has sparked the fear of germs in everyone... But NO COLDS?! Bizarre". Well, I know better now, and here's a public apology to all the ladies that caught a cold from me. ACHOO! Bless you!

There was also a great deal of time spent learning the builder. I recreated a bar that I used to play in a lot. I love the gritty, small room feel, and I couldn't wait to open this dive to the world and pack the house! I learned fast that filling a room is not as simple as throwing gold at it and keeping it up on the top of the list. Sure you meet a few curious stragglers, but it just doesn't work. Save your gold. From what I gather, it involves knowing people, making friends, hiring dancers and bouncers, and getting more than 10 people in the room before you use the gold. I hear having a few extra accounts to help with the numbers isn't a bad idea either. But I've never had more than 3 people in a room, so what do I know.

Wow, that was a bit of a tangent. Sorry folks, but tangents happen here. A lot. Speaking of.. um.. no.  I will control myself. Back to the story.


So, anyways. There I was, a 3DX newbie. Doing the same things night after night. Build a little. Trying to figure out how to get a DJ setup going. Hitting the rooms and looking to bust a nut. Sometimes successfully, sometimes disappointingly more like real life. And while checking out some of the different rooms, I wandered onto a train. Not just a train downloaded from 3dxsharing, NO, the whole room was a train! It was great. I got lost, did some dancing, and then I was struck by lightning.

short circuit 80s GIF

I don't remember exactly how it happened, but I got a cuddle out of the blue and started dancing with a beautiful lady. I'll leave names out of this for now, but you can probably find it out by looking at my photo album. It was great. It wasn't just a cold, meet and greet. It was just fun. There was a language barrier because I did not speak her language, but with google translate, we communicated well enough. We danced, had some fun with foreplay poses, and when she selected a pose by accident that was very erotic on some wall pose item, we immediately bounced to a jackhammer in the rear pose that neither one of us was expecting. With a quick apology, she cut the pose off. I could feel her blushing from miles away. It was so cute. I do believe that is when I fell in love with an avatar for the first time in my life. Not only did I not expect it, but I didn't think that was even a potential or a possibility.


I mean, I've been playing online games since they began. Not to date me, but back before AOL created the internet, I was already playing on multiplayer BBS with games, chat, and poker. Through all of my online escapades - EverQuest, WoW, AO, SWoTR, WAR, Some goth sex MMO, and.. well.. just assume if it was an MMO, I was in it. Besides games, tons of online communities. And though there were occasions of one thing leading to another and webcams displaying all the dirty parts while two people mutually masturbate, there was never anything close to love. A few people came close. But it was after meeting, playing games, and then meeting at events and getting to know each other there. And still... leaps and bounds from love.

Backing Up GIF by CBC

BEEP BEEP BEEP... yes.. that's the sound of a big garbage truck backing up. I do that quite a bit, so might as well get used to it. Backing up here.. and I feel the need to explain something. No. I didn't think I was at love at this moment. That didn't cross my mind yet. It was the seed planted in the ground though, that I will come back to remember and frequently do. Hell, I still scan the room list for that train. There were many things going through my mind at this point. All the advice and things I'd seen and heard through conversations and world chat (WC). I knew two things here.

  1. This was probably a guy.  and
  2. get to the goods and move on, because this is just a game and that's the only reason people are playing.

I mean, that's what everyone said, or had plastered in their profiles. This is just a game. Just have fun. Oh, and everyone is a guy. Ok. Sounded like sound advice at the time. And this is all running through my mind. We had an incredibly fun night and became friends in-game. I assumed this would be a one-night thing, and I'd see them hanging on my friend's list without much further, just from my own experience. I'm a really shy guy until I get to know you. It's a struggle for me to interact openly in rooms. It's just hard for me. So if I send you a message, you have probably struck a chord with me, because I'm fighting through my terror of, well, I don't know of what. Maybe rejection? Anyways. With that terror looming, I knew I probably wouldn't send messages to her, and I assumed I wouldn't get any.

drunk guy GIF

Well, I was wrong. And I am so glad I was. We continued to chat and meet up to dance and have fun. I was totally smitten. I was in deep Smit. I was building rooms for us. Well.. really for her. Music playlists. We were sharing life stories, and music, and movies.  one of my favorite builds is a birthday cake with a trail of balloons to the birthday scene that I made late one night when I found out it was her birthday. Day in and day out. All the nights spent with her have been some of the best memories in my life. We have such similar pasts in some respects, and much different in others. How she views the world and problems is fascinating to me and some of the best advice I've ever had. I love her, and she's become my best friend. TBH, I'm fucking tearing up right now thinking about how much she means to me.

But the path from A to D hasn't been a bed of roses. I know I have faults and they don't stop just because I log in to a game to see someone. Insecurities that I didn't even know I had, exacerbated by the nature of 3DX and being so far away from someone. We work through those with the best tool. Honesty. And some cuddles always help. I just love cuddles. Some of the poses 3DX has made are really great. Sitting on a stool with your arms wrapped around your loved one as she lightly strokes your arm. Fuck me. I love that.

As I was saying, it hasn't all been a bed of roses... One night all those conversations with other people came flooding back to me, and I was in sheer panic. I mean. I hadn't actually seen a photo of her, no webcam, no audio. I could totally be getting catfished here. To be honest. At the moment, I didn't care if she was a girl, or a guy, or 3 toed sloth. I knew I was in love with them. But it's a terrifying thing when you are sitting there, realizing you are in love with someone who could not only be feeding you words of love just playing a game, but it could be someone completely different. Hell, it could be your high school nemesis fucking with you. Spending time with her that night, I was just off. Emotionally. And she knew almost immediately. We talked and I felt better, and our relationship moved forward another step. I know her now, and I am glad that we both took the chances we did, regardless of what we were taught in 3DX school. Well, and IRL. You know, don't talk to strangers.

Comedy Friend GIF by ABC Network

Get the garbage truck sound effects going. Yes.. we're backing up again. I just have to touch on the whole idea of 3DX chat being all guys and it being "Just a Game".


I find this funny now, because I know that's not true. There are quite a few women playing. And no matter how many times someone tells me it's just a game. That is one thing I know they are wrong about. Through all my years of playing online games. "Game" may be in the category or title, but they are anything but.. "Just games". 3dXchat is no different, and that's the first thing I wish people would remember. This is not just a game. People may play games here, and their whole persona/avatar maybe just a game. But there are real people behind everyone single avatar. With real emotions. Real problems. Real stories. Please remember that. If you are spending a lot of time with someone, just remember, they may be perceiving your interactions completely differently. If you truly don't want to move beyond some "game" persona, then just let them know that.

So, to sum it up. Where are we now? You know. We're in love. We're connected. We're enjoying being in the moment. We're transcending the game into all new territories. With a whole slew of new questions to answer. How do you stay connected when you're 1000's of miles apart physically. How do you tell friends and family that you're dating someone that far away that you met through a sex simulator? (tip.. ya don't.  or at least, not in my family lol). Do you move closer geographically? Who moves? How do you break the news to your wife that you want a divorce? (that's another story) Oh shit, I think I'm about to have another panic attack. Not really, I'm good. We're just taking each hurdle one leap of faith at a time and falling deeper in love every day. Oh and I'm learning Spanish! 


Have fun out there. Be real. Be honest. Be Kind. You might just find Magic on a train. 


Let me know if this was interesting enough to continue writing about my experiences and I'll start answering some of these other questions as I experience them and figure them out myself.  Like, how to stay connected, how to send flowers to a different country, and how to dance (in 3DX). Let me know about your experiences in 3DX. Have you found love? Have you been catfished? Have you had similar experiences and want to share them? Leave a comment!




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